Why do I wear a Bike Helmet?

Everyone knows bike helmets mess up your hair, look nerdy, and are generally not cool.
But I always feel like no one thinks I'm cool anyway so why not just wear the helmet.

There are many things in life that look cool but are kind of dumb:
Smoking.
Bottle Service.
Kanye West.

The point is that you have to be willing to look uncool and know that you're right. You also get to feel really self righteous which never hurts. Just like being a Vegetarian.

We also have to bully each other into being uncool together so that we stay safe. If all your friends are wearing helmets then you're not the weirdo. To get serious for a moment I knew someone who got killed on a bike years ago when he was hit by a drunk driver. It wasn't the biker's fault at all, a drunk driver had turned onto the bike path. But what no one talked about was the fact that he wasn't wearing a helmet. It felt unnecessarily cruel to talk about at the time. But it's worth talking about to make sure we don't lose any more friends for that reason. 

I know that wearing a bike helmet doesn't look cool.
But do it anyway so that you'll be able to hang out with your friends who don't care if you look cool. They're your real friends anyway. 

And now today's...

RANDOM SONG OF JOY!