Why are Dogs Just the Best?

Last week I was writing about Michele Bachmann.
That got me thinking about other Dumb, Crazy, Bitches in my life.
I thought of my dog Daisy.

Daisy, like all dogs, is really great because she's really dumb.
Every time I leave the house she is depressed because she thinks I'm gone forever. While this is sad for her it is great news for me. Because it means that when I return home after 5 hours or 5 minutes, she greets me like a soldier returning from war.

"Oh my God! You're back! I never thought I'd see you again! I can't believe it! You've missed so much. There is this bone, and this tennis ball. And if you threw them down the hallway I know I could chase them and bring them back! Oh I can't believe you're home!"

Sometimes Daisy seems like that great imaginary 1950's wife that never really existed. You know that one that spends their whole day just sitting at home, pining for you, getting ready to play with you when you get home.

"Oh Honey! You're back! I've done nothing but think of you. I'm naked, of course, no need for clothes. And I'd love to kiss you right on the mouth and then play with your balls!"

Dogs are the best!