Why do I Wear my Bag in Front of me on the Subway?

I don't know why so few people do what seems to me to be the obviously courteous thing to do:

Wear your bag in front of you. 

On the Subway in New York, at least on my number 1 train (Woo! Number 1!), it's always crowded. And yet people come in with shoulder bags and giant backpacks sticking out way behind them bumping everyone in the way. How many times have you been bumped or pushed by a bag on someone's bag and they don't even notice?

Instead I wear my bag in front. Because we all want a little space in front of us, I'm not taking up any unnecessary space. 

Get with the program people, and flip that bag to the front! You'll never accidentally knock down an old lady again.

And now Today's:

Random Song of Joy 

What do I learn from this Restaurant Sign?

I walked by this place in New York the other day.

Here were my first two thoughts:
1. Maybe you have the best pasta or the best gyro. But no way you have both.
2. I'm not sure I trust your judgment when you can't spell pizzeria.

That is all. I'll stop being a grammar snob.

And now:

Today's Random Song of Joy! 

Why do I wear a Bike Helmet?

Everyone knows bike helmets mess up your hair, look nerdy, and are generally not cool.
But I always feel like no one thinks I'm cool anyway so why not just wear the helmet.

There are many things in life that look cool but are kind of dumb:
Smoking.
Bottle Service.
Kanye West.

The point is that you have to be willing to look uncool and know that you're right. You also get to feel really self righteous which never hurts. Just like being a Vegetarian.

We also have to bully each other into being uncool together so that we stay safe. If all your friends are wearing helmets then you're not the weirdo. To get serious for a moment I knew someone who got killed on a bike years ago when he was hit by a drunk driver. It wasn't the biker's fault at all, a drunk driver had turned onto the bike path. But what no one talked about was the fact that he wasn't wearing a helmet. It felt unnecessarily cruel to talk about at the time. But it's worth talking about to make sure we don't lose any more friends for that reason. 

I know that wearing a bike helmet doesn't look cool.
But do it anyway so that you'll be able to hang out with your friends who don't care if you look cool. They're your real friends anyway. 

And now today's...

RANDOM SONG OF JOY!

How was I an Accidental A-Hole at the Laundromat?

Avid readers will remember that on Tuesday I discussed doing laundry and the one fun part being the big money that you get when you change a $20.

What I didn't tell you on Tuesday was how this idea and this picture made me act like a jerk.
As I put the coins from the machine in my change bag I laughed at how great it is to put in a $20 and get out so many coins. So I began to jot down this idea in my phone.

Then I realized that a picture of the coins would really be helpful in conveying what I'm talking about. But I'd already taken the coins out of the slot. So I pulled out my change bag and put handfuls of quarters back in the machine to recreate the magical moment.
I took a picture and took the coins back for a second time.

It wasn't until I finished this and turned around that I noticed a young Hispanic mom and her 5 year old son waiting to get change.
I realized how insane I must have looked.
I got change. Put it in my pocket. Pulled out my phone. Put the change back in the machine. Took a photo. Then took the change again.

So I have to come clean and say sorry to that random mom for being an a-hole.

And now Todays:

RANDOM SONG OF JOY

When does a Yogurt Tear Friends Apart?

Roommate stories are often the best.

The reason is that living together means that you're around each other all the time, and sometimes the slightest slight, can blow things up. 

For Example, yogurt.

Yesterday I was speaking to 3 women who live together who told the saga of how a Yogurt explosion almost tore them apart. 

One roommate had accidentally spilled a yogurt but didn't have time to clean it out of the fridge before heading to work. According to them this was a big spill, "the Hiroshimana of Yogurt explosions."

Another roommate demanded that the 3rd roommate clean it and she said that there was no way she would do that. Roommates 2 and 3 were in a fight at that point.

A day of texting and debating between 2 and 3 ensued full of frustration, questions, and fears about broken friendships. But then the day ended with the 3rd roommate cleaning up the explosion and buying the 2nd flowers to say sorry for being snippy. 

It was a beautiful story full of anger and redemption.

And Yogurt. 

And now Today's:

RANDOM SONG OF JOY!

Why do New Yorkers Walk so Fast?

The main reason is that unlike most other places in the US, most New Yorkers don't drive. This means that while in other cities people late for work might have road rage, in New York it's sidewalk rage. We can't honk in person so we're forced to sigh or grunt as we shove by a slow moving walker.

The other reason is that you are constantly bombarded by people asking for change, or with a story, or with a political issue that desperately needs your money. New Yorkers become reflexively defensive and guarded because of this. It would be exhausting to most people to have a conversation with everyone that asks for something. So instead, they just walk fast and ignore everyone.

So it makes sense that we all walk so fast around the city. But sometimes we do have to remind ourselves to break a breath, and smell the flowers...or rather the urine and trash.

Now Here's Today's:

RANDOM SONG OF JOY!

What's the Only Good thing about doing Laundry?

Laundry is just the worst isn't it?
Especially in New York.
There's just too many of us on this island. And we're all really dirty.

My laundromat is two blocks away but might as well be its own planet. Once you go through those doors it's like stepping into an alternate universe. There are piles of clothes everywhere and old Hispanic ladies moving clothes around like lumberjacks lifting logs. How are they so strong?

I think that doing Laundry is probably a great workout for anybody:
Folding, that's some nice arm work. Lifting, that's your whole back and core. Frustration that the machine broke, you'll be sweating off those donuts in no time.

Somehow my Laundromat is open 24/7 and is still always busy. That's how full New York is. You can be open every hour of every day and it still feels like you decided to do laundry during happy hour.

But today I discovered one great moment at the Laundromat. Today I had to get change.
I only had a $20. When I put the bill into the machine it rumbled. It bumbled. And then all of a sudden I started hearing that sweet "Plink" "Plink" "Plink" sound at the bottom of the machine. I was the big winner!

I put in only one bill and out came dozens of coins! It was my lucky day!
Everything's looking up Andrew!

And now...here's today's...

Random Song of Joy!