Why do the Palestinians and Israelis both think they're David fighting Goliath?

The answer is, they are both David.

The way the Palestinians frame it they are David against Israel's Goliath. And they're right. Israel has a huge standing army as well as modern weaponry and a strong strategic advantage over them.

The way the Israelis frame it they are the David against the Goliath of the entire Arab world. And they're right. They're literally surrounded by neighboring Arab countries who have various degrees of dislike and/or hatred for Israel. They're outnumbered, surrounded, and feel under siege.

The problem with these mentalities is that the conversation never goes anywhere.

Both sides say they're the underdog, that they're under attack, and that therefore they shouldn't have to make any concessions.

I went to a debate a week ago and heard the first new idea I've heard about this conflict in a while. A two-state solution, but with a twist, the Palestinian state has to let Jews live there.

A Palestinian state could be drawn encompassing the West Bank and Gaza and Jewish settlers that live there now could stay and have full rights as part of the new Palestinian State. In the same way, any Palestinians who are drawn into the borders of Israel can live in Israel with the full rights of citizens. It seems like a simple solution that I don't see why I've never heard it before.

So everybody stop complaining about being the underdog and make this thing happen!

Why am I going to start wearing an eyepatch?

I learned recently that many think that pirates wore eyepatches not because they got their eyes poked out constantly, but for visual advantage. Some theorize that pirates wore them so that when they went below deck they could switch which eye the patch was on and their eye that was used to the patch, could see in the darkness.

This feels intuitively true to me. Partly because I had an entire job based on this inability of eyes to adjust to darkness quickly. I was an usher for Cirque Du Soleil, a job that exists because when people entered the circus tent it was dark and coming out of the sunlight they could see nothing. We could see because we had been standing in the tent and helped them to their seats with flashlights.

So here's why I want to wear an eyepatch.

I'm going to steal the pirates idea and become the most successful robber ever.

And I know what you're thinking. Andrew, it's going to be pretty easy to catch the guy who is known for wearing an eye patch. And my answer to that is Yes and No. Yes, it will be easy to find me, but no, it will be hard to catch me.

The way I'll rob people will be the same way I'll elude capture. My plan is to enter, say, a jewelry store and switch the eye patch to the other eye, then hit the light switch. The room will be thrown into darkness. The store owners will be confused and bewildered. But meanwhile I'll be seeing perfectly. I'll be gone with their precious money before they can find the switch.

In the same way the cops may corner me in my room. But off go the lights, and I'm out the door.

So watch out world. Cause I've got an eye patch, and I'm not afraid to use it. And your world is about to get very dark.

And the only way to stop me, is if one of you wears an eye patch. But you'll never have the juevos to do it.