Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Should Irish Farmers be Allowed to Drive Drunk?

Before you accuse my question of being based on an old stereotype of Irish Drunkards, read this article. Apparently some councilmen in Southwest Ireland are petitioning the government to grant some permits to farmers to drive above the legal limit.

Why do they want to do that you ask?
They argue that suicide and depression are a major problem in these rural areas and that these farmers just need a drink. Or five. One can debate whether or not drinking is likely to make people happier or more depressed.
Coke and Prostitutes might make these farmers happy too but no one is going down that road.

Drinking and driving is all too common everywhere because of this simple fact:
How else are you going to drink at a bar?

I'm lucky enough to live in New York City where public transportation and cabs are available 24/7. No one else in America and very few people around the world are so lucky. Every time I visit another city I find friends putting themselves in situations where they drink and drive.

In Texas for instance it's all highways and overpasses. It's pretty hard to walk to the bars. Designated drivers are great in theory but fall short in practice. There's just not enough of us who can tolerate the idea of soberly babysitting your drunken friends. I've done it happily on occasion, but it's not something I want to do all the time.

So here's my solution...
Party Buses!
Bars should have to pay a small tax from their sales that goes towards a fleet of party buses which stay running as long as they're open! It will be fun, communal, and will make one sober bus driver the designated driver for everybody! And customers can be encouraged to use the bus instead of driving cars by being given free drink tokens and other rewards.

So Ireland, don't let Farmers drive drunk. Even if they get a few drinks at the bar, they'll still be driving home alone. Create a party bus, and those farmers can start finding some new fields where they can plant their seed.

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